Are you raising up potential women leaders in your church?

How to create an environment where women are valued and nurtured

If 51 percent of your church became empowered and inspired to lead and serve, what kind of energy would that create? In the average church, at least 51 percent of the members are women. What are the characteristics of a women’s ministry that unleash this 51 percent to transform your church? Here are some principles we’ve discovered along the way:

1. DO remember that women and men have the same basic needs: love, acceptance, significance and community. It truly benefits women to hear those messages spoken in a distinctly feminine context.

2. DO start off simple. Implement your women’s ministry at the most basic level and build on it. If small groups are a key component of your church life, start there. There is no shortage of effective curriculum perfect for women’s gatherings.

How to help women in abusive relationships or marriages

I saw a diminutive woman wiping away her tears in an unused Sunday school room. That she was abused had never occurred to her, only that she never seemed to be able to satisfy her husband’s demands. I knew this wasn’t the time to use the word abuse, but instead was a time to speak of her own right to respect and kindly treatment. She had been created by the Father, redeemed by the Son and empowered by the Holy Spirit; and she must become more respectful of herself. It was wrong for anyone to call her names, to humiliate her or to treat her disrespectfully. Along with a list of Scriptures that condemned mistreatment, I lent her a Christian book about abuse.

Little by little, she was able to articulate her new insights to her husband. She moved slowly and carefully, and things began to change. Instead of being a doormat, she became someone who understood that she deserved decent treatment. By the same token, her husband became a person who respected his wife. Her attitude became more joyful and self-assured, and she became more valuable even in her husband’s eyes.

Not every story ends this happily. Often it isn’t safe for a victim to address her perpetrator’s conduct. Frequently her self-image has been so utterly demolished that she dare not make any effort to help herself. But as leaders—particularly for those who lead a women’s ministry—we may be the sole lifeline these women have for overcoming what can seem like a hopeless, never-ending cycle of abuse. We have more opportunities than most to speak the truth and remind them that they are of infinite worth to themselves, to others and to God. We can help them discover the Bible passages that condemn physical, emotional, sexual, verbal and financial abuse.

Victims are typically hesitant to tell their stories, and when they do, they’ll often tell only a part of the full story. Though all the telltale signs might be obvious to you as a leader—the self-blame, shame, secretiveness or unusual behavior—remember that it can be difficult for even the most intelligent individuals to realize they are actually experiencing abuse. For this reason, it’s vital that when a battered woman is willing to disclose her “embarrassing secret,” she is heard and believed.

It’s not always appropriate to dictate to an abuse victim what she should do, but it is always suitable to act in the interests of safety. The decisions she makes must be her own; however, we can share our concerns for her and her children’s safety. This isn’t as difficult as some might think, especially within the context of a women’s ministry. Pray for God to bless families with homes that are safe, for kindness and mutual respect within the households and for growth in all the fruits of the Holy Spirit. If your ministry has its own bulletin board, post the phone number or Web site for a local shelter—and if allowed, do this for churchwide communiqué. You can also place pamphlets with safety information in the women’s rest rooms.

Most of us cannot supply all the services required in a complex domestic abuse situation. Victims usually need to be connected with appropriate community services. Yet Christian women excel in their ability to demonstrate compassion during a time of crisis, and to give moral support, prayer, simple friendship and practical assistance.

Numbers show that it’s more than probable there is someone within your women’s ministry currently enduring abuse. With love and faith and prayer, you and the women you lead can be the spiritual lifeline that keeps her battered soul afloat.

Catherine Clark Kroeger is a professor at Gordon-Conwell and the president of Peace and Safety in the Christian Home. She is also the co-author of several books, including No Place for Abuse.